A Change Of Heart

As I said in Monday's post, I have a very hard time when people say that the recently deceased are "in a better place." Call me selfish but I think that they should be here with us. Small children, parents who are only middle age, friends that die untimely deaths, all these people should have the opportunity to live life to the fullest.

The pastor at my uncle's funeral last night said something that made me rethink my feelings on untimely deaths. She said, "He hasn't left you, he's just gone on ahead." I never looked at it this way and it made me smile. All day yesterday I kept thinking of how only two years earlier I had gone through this when my dad died. I was filled with anger that he had been taken away from us at only 51 years of age. The rest of the night, I thought that maybe this philosophy was right. As much as I want my dad to be with my family, instead of being angry over his death, I should look at it the pastors way. He's patiently waiting for us. Thinking of it this way brings me some comfort, my dad and my uncle peaceful, no longer in pain. Waiting for the rest of our family to eventually join them one day a long time from now.

Spitting Image

It's been almost two years since my dad passed away. I think about him from time to time, remembering how particular he was about how clean our vehicles were or how the grass had to be cut so that it was the best looking yard on our street. Looking back on stuff like that I realize that I got my obsessive neat habits from him. When I had a car, I was always washing it. There were only a select few who I would let drive my car, much like my father who RARELY let anyone drive our sacred conversion van.

Today, when I was cutting my mom's yard, I came around the corner of the house and swore I saw my dad standing there watching me much like he did when he was alive, making sure I was cutting the grass just right. Of course, it wasn't my dad, it was my brother. He has taken over the helm of making sure the yard is perfect since my dad died. It wasn't until that moment that I realized how much of my dad my brother has in him. I was always a spitting image of my dad but with the exception of the neatness trait, that's where it ended. My brother got the rest of him. No matter how much of a jerk he can be, it's nice to know that he's trying to pick up where my dad left off. Although I don't want to admit it, it makes me proud of the little shithead.

Let Go And Let God

I've never been a follower of religion. I was baptized Methodist but we rarely went to church. I knew my mom had her reasons for this but I was never aware of what they were until recently. Having gone to church herself for four hours every Sunday as a child she had no desire to go once she was an adult. Since my dad passed away, she has since found a church where she feels comfortable and now attends regularly.

Church and religion have always made me feel a little uncomfortable. I've never really bought into the concept of this religion and that religion. Each one vying for some sort of dominance over the others. Some requiring a tithe to be a member. I guess for them, God only loves you if you give him a tenth of your annual income every year. Don't laugh, it's true.

Why does there have to be a religion anyway. Take non denominational churches. I've never been to one but I'm guessing that they practice a form of religion that is free of ritual and protocol. I've always felt it was about loving God and praying to him that mattered most.

It's also taken a lot of soul searching for me to be okay with God in the first place. I will never understand how he can take a healthy, vibrant 51 year old man away from his family...let alone small kids who have only begun to live their lives. I don't know if I believe in "it's God's will" or "they're with God now." You may believe that it's better "up there" than down here and I respect that opinion, I just don't agree with it. Nothing can make me believe that a man should be taken from his family or a child should be taken from their parents. Nothing.

Thanks For The Salt Scrub

I'm going to dive right in today.

The Supreme Court recently upheld the ban on partial-birth abortions. I won't sit here and rail on about which side is right since I have no position on the issue. I will sit here and say that I find it interesting when a Pro-Lifer uses the excuse that every life is sacred, even in the womb. It's many of these same people that are for the death penalty. If every life is sacred, should we be killing the life that killed someone else? How do you differentiate between the life in the womb and the life charged with murder? Using the "every life is sacred" excuse, you can not.

I'm fed up with the media coverage of the shootings at Virginia Tech. Why did it happen? What did the campus police/school officials do wrong? What could they have done better? This event is not even a week old and already people are foaming at the mouth to find someone other than the killer guilty. Lawsuits have already been mentioned (on my favorite person, Nancy Grace's show.) I'm sure a thorough investigation will be launched by many departments. If there was fault other than the killers, it will be brought out. There will be time for the blaming and what ifs. These poor people haven't even been laid to rest yet. Why can't everyone else do the same thing, give it a rest!

The ONLY positive to the non-stop media coverage of the Virgina Tech shootings has been we don't have to hear about Dom Imus anymore. Sure, what he said was horrible. Racist. Degrading. There's not doubting that. He apologized, correctly I might add. Should he lose his job, I don't think so. Unfortunately, the issue became so huge CBS and MSNBC had to bow to pressure and fire him. It's a shame. Free speech is a wonderful thing. I don't demand the firing of that skinny bitch Ann Coulter when she spouts off about fags and the "gay agenda" with her homophobic comments.

That reminds me, what is the gay agenda? If anyone knows, please let me know because I'm afraid they will take away my gay card if I don't get with the "program."

There Is A God

Finally! It only took weeks, but Sanjaya was FINALLY voted off American Idol! Take that Howard Stern and all you teeny boppers.

College Revisited

I saw a group last night called Too White Crew. They're an old school hip hop group that does all kinds of songs from the 90's. Baby Got Back, The Humpty Dance, Insane In The Membrane, Ice Ice Baby, and more. They even have fly girl's dancing on each side of the stage. You remember fly girls... J Lo was one on "In Living Color." before she made it big. The guys are all dressed in their Adidas gear with gold chains around their necks.

I have to say that although I am still recovering from the amount of alcohol I consumed, it was the most fun I've had in a long time. It was just like being at all those frat parties in college on Emmett Street. Ah, the memories.

Cover Up

Let's talk a little bit about Toupee's. They seem to have become a little less popular in the hair replacement product realm. One can understand why. They're so blatantly obvious that in my opinion they only make going bald even more obvious.

An older gentleman I saw yesterday had one. When I first laid eyes on him, it was the first thing I noticed. Of course, I couldn't stop staring and immediately started writing this blog in my head. I think he may have noticed me staring but he never said anything about it.

Being a guy that started to go bald in my very early twenties, I just embraced it. I started shaving my head. I know that I am blessed with having a nice shaped head (or so I've been told) and that a lot of men are not. What I don't get is why some men choose to were a rug of fake hair instead of shaving their head, regardless of the shape of their noggin. If you wear a toupee, you're probably embarrassed to be going bald. Are you not embarrassed to be wearing something that covers your bald spot yet looks like it doesn't belong there in the first place? I just don't get it. Toupee's are more obvious than just being bald in spots or the dreaded comb-over. I say, embrace your baldness men.

I Write Letters

Today was my first day back to work after almost two weeks of vacation. I wasn't quite ready to go back but I wasn't dreading it either. As I went about my day, I was in a great mood. No one bothered me. I was pleasant and helpful. I was a model employee. I wonder how long this will last.

I had to work late tonight and couldn't watch American Idol. I'm not sure if I'm all that upset over it. This is the show that I used to rearrange my entire work schedule around. Since this whole Sanjaya debacle started, I am very frustrated. Although Adam did tell me that he was actually good tonight I still can't get past the fact that he should have been gone three weeks ago. We'll see how tomorrow's results show (which I will miss) goes. My vote still goes to Chris!

Alzheimer's is such a horrible disease. I just don't understand how people could be against stem cell research if it holds just a remote possibility of finding a cure for this and other diseases.

My hotel room tonight has a spiral staircase that leads up to a loft where the bedroom is. You think to yourself "Cool!" It's kinda freaking my OCD ass out.

You Better Clear Your Schedule

If you read my blog, chances are you read Adam's as well. If not, you should! It's called Observant Mind and it usually has a great recap of our vacations. He doesn't disappoint with his recap of our recent cruise.

However, I'd like to share with you one of my favorite moments on our cruise. I should first point out that there were a lot of familes on the ship, spending Spring Break sailing the Caribbean. The first evening sitting on our balcony we realized we were surrounded by families with small kids. Great.





It turned out that we rarely heard them. Once in a while they'd be outside when we were but since there were walls between each balcony, this wasn't a problem. We still had our privacy. Then on Thursday, as we were sailing out of Belize, I stepped out on the balcony to find the father in the cabin next to us, smoking a cigar while he took in the sights of the tiny islands that are off of Belize. We exchanged hellos and that was about it. I went back into the room to let Adam know that we had company. Adam stepped outside and exchanged hellos with the neighbor too. That was all it took. The two of them had a ten or fifteen minute conversation about everything from sports to teaching to travel. (The neighbor was a middle school principal and his wife a school guidance counselor.) I just stood there, silently laughing to myself as Adam politely kept up the conversation.

What made this all funny to me was that when we first heard this family on Sunday, it was clear that they were from the DEEP south. (Turns out they were from Atlanta.) We both groaned inside thinking we had to deal with rednecks for the entire week. I'm sure they were pleased to find two guys sharing the cabin next to them. I could only imagine what they were thinking. But as it turned out, they were a very nice family. The husband and wife like to take their kids to different places, to show them culture and other ways of life. I thought back to Sunday evening and thought that the old saying is true...There is more to someone than meets the eye.

B14

The title and pic below say it all. One friggin number away from winning $505 on our cruise.